We can’t all get VIP access to Disney World or teleport to Paris on a dime, so we’ll use these classic 90s TV vacation episodes to live vicariously for a little bit.
“The One with Ross’s Wedding”
Has there ever been a more jaw-dropping wedding? We don’t think so. But wedding shenanigans aside, this could have easily been called “The One Where They Went to London.” Really, we’re here for Joey and Chandler seeing the sights and sounds of London to the sounds of the Clash’s “London Calling,” which doesn’t exactly jive with the goofiness of Joey’s fantastic Union Jack hat, but that’s okay. This was the peak of Cool Britannia, and they even had a cameo from Richard Branson.
“The House Meets the Mouse”
Maybe it was inevitable that the most wholesome family of the 90s would end up at the happiest place on earth. Michelle lets her status as princess for a day go to her head and ends up bossing everyone around. On top of that, she ends up getting lost. Fortunately, Snow White saves the day, but not after a tea party.
Married… with Children
“We’ll Follow the Sun”
Is it still a vacation episode if they don’t manage to go anywhere? In the world of Married… with Children, we’d argue yes. The Bundy family want to get out of town for Labour Day weekend, but they end up stuck in traffic the entire time. This leads to plenty of bickering, low stakes, and an actual wrestling match with their car neighbours. Really, we wouldn’t expect much less from our favourite 90s curmudgeon.
Okay, bear with us: Steve Urkel invents a teleportation device, which he calls the UrkPad. Using it, he takes himself, the Winslows, and his alter-ego, Stefan Urquelle, to Paris. But by this point, Urquelle is no longer just his alter-ego who appears whenever Urkel drinks Cool Juice or Boss Sauce. Urkel has also invented a cloning machine, cloned himself, and transformed his clone into Urquelle so that they’ll be different people.
Anyway, the Winslow’s Paris experience ranges from Eddie being bummed out he can’t speak French to a girl he likes to Urkel being held hostage because he’s too much of a nerd to realize that people want to steal his UrkPad invention.
“Summer of 4 Ft. 2”
Okay, they’ve gone on plenty of vacations, but few are more memorable than when the Simpsons took over the Flanders’ beach house (because Ned had jury duty on a case where a car ran into a boatload of geraniums, which they were thinking of trying as a naval case). Lisa’s anxieties about being a huge nerd are in full force, so she undertakes a makeover to become a cool, carefree slacker.
How much can go wrong on a vacation? Well, you can have ugly babies, steal from a lobster trap, get into a petty fight over kosher food, and get hit by a thrown tomato. Fun fact: this episode was credited with coining a new meaning for the word “shrinkage.” Oh, characters of Seinfeld, you really were the worst to each other.