Whether you’re helping your kids in youth hockey, playing in a rec league, or just sitting on the couch and playing NHL 21, good natured chirping is one of the best parts of the game. Here are some of our favourites.
Did you get benched in shinny too?
Do kids play pond hockey anymore? Either way, if you’re not good enough for shinny, you’re not good enough for any other hockey.
You’re ten-ply, bud.
Coined by Letterkenny, this term for the softest imaginable toilet paper should make its way into everyone’s vocabulary.
Are you hoping for a participation trophy?
Only works when you’re winning.
Did you forget your skates and bring your clown shoes?
If you want something that works in any situation.
You make more excuses than saves.
If you want a goaltender-specific chirp.
Think this is dodgeball, bud?
Another tendy chirp.
You’ve been scratched more than a lotto ticket.
If you know someone who’s been riding the bench too long.
Go dye your hair.
Thanks to Matt Martin for this one.
Ref, your phone is on silent, you’ve missed some calls.
Chirp the ref at your own risk.
Go relax with a scented candle and a bubble bath.
If someone’s being a hothead, you might as well wind them up further by telling them to relax.
Soccer practice is tomorrow.
Anyone who dives deserves some scorn.
Forgot your Speedo, bud?
Another diver-specific chirp.
Does your coach know you’re out here?
You can sell this one better by pretending to do a double take when you see your target.
I smell smoke. Thinking of a chirp, bud?
If you’re hoping for a call and response, and the response just isn’t coming.
You’d be more relevant to the game in a striped sweater.
You’re a tough guy? Hey fellas, we have a tough guy here. Everyone watch out, this is the tough guy.
The more you ham it up, the better this chirp works.
I’ve heard better chirps from a dead bird.
How long have they played you today? That’s a long time to do nothing.
Only works on a player getting a lot of shifts.
I’ve seen better hands on a digital clock.
This one might not work on a kid who doesn’t know what an analogue clock is.
If you want more ice time, I hear they’re hiring a Zamboni driver.
Best said to someone first setting foot on the ice.